England officially stops whinging about 2007 Rugby World Cup

LONDON. As one of his first decrees as incumbent Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, David Cameron has given the UK official permission to stop whinging about the 2007 Rugby World Cup Final and to start whining about Robert Green’s own goal.

Since the defeat by the South African Rugby team in 2007 during the Rugby World Cup finals, England has released a steady stream of whinging, whining and whimpering into the international press.

However, with England goalkeeper Robert Green’s own goal last Saturday against the USA, England’s cohort of self-righteous whiners have found a new reason for living.

“I m British by birth, but I am a whining Englishman by the grace of God,” said Cameron this morning. “In 2007, we whinged and creaked about how the referee didn’t see an obvious try that we obviously scored. And, while the country has proudly and incessantly moped about the 2007 rugby final, we finally do have something new to grumble about.

“Therefore, I do decree that the English people will stop moaning about the 2007 Rugby, and start snivelling about Green’s own goal.”

Since his decree, the BBC has announced they will pull all television programs, documentaries and news features that have been grouching about the Rugby World Cup, and immediately replace them with shows grouching over Green and his “moment of complete calamity.”

The England population has since blamed vuvuzelas and the Adidas Jabulani ball for Green’s muck-up. The fact that the majority of their supporters were comprised of South Africans was also mentioned.

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has been appointed as Minister of Insulting Green, as he has a history of complaining about green thinking.

Meanwhile the rest of the world is quietly hoping that England bounce back from their ignominious opening game draw to win the tournament. “If they lift the trophy in 2010 at least it will mean an end to their endless going on about 1966,” said a fan.

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